An Alternative to Quitting The Smartphone That Has Taken Over Your Life
Friday, February 8, 2013 at 4:13PM It would seem that the hot new thing to do is to give up your smartphone for a "dumb" phone. The people that I have read about or talked to who are doing this have a noble goal in mind and that is to lessen the amount of distraction in their lives. Smartphones and their attendant notifications and apps do provide ample opportunities to distract us from important work, people and relationships. New mail arrives. Someone followed us on a Twitter or posted to our wall on Facebook. Each of these fires off a notification with its accompanying screen message and audio alert. Many find it hard to ignore the digital siren call of these summonings for us to "come hither."
I know I have observed many coworkers, couples and families out for a meal together who spend the entire time starring at their smartphone. Truth be told it seems odd to see people gathered around a table, ostensibly spending time with each other, completely ignoring the other people present because they are fiddling with their phones. Of course, this takes its toll on relationships. If you ignore your spouse, friends and coworkers enough in favor of your digital companion you may discover it is your only companion left. Relationships take time and emotional energy and if you are investing all of it in your smartphone you will pay the price. Therefore I applaud the notice that people are giving to this subtle cost of smartphone ownership.
That said, I am not sure that I agree with their methodology for addressing the problem. Completely ditching a smartphone because you can't stop checking it or playing with it seems like an admission that a small slab of metal, glass and microchips is stronger than the human will. It is an admission that the smartphone owns us instead of the other way around.
I have also struggled to ignore the siren call of the smartphone nestled in my pocket and focus on the people and events in front of me. My first smartphone was a Blackberry (well before the iPhone came on the scene) and in a few weeks my wife referred to it as the "other woman." After a while and with the help of my wife, I learned that just because my Blackberry beeped I didn't have to check right then. As my wife would say, "I love you but you're not that important. You're not the president. The world will not end if you don't read that email right now." She was right. It was hard but I learned to resist the urge to stare at my Blackberry all the time.
But then the iPhone arrived in 2007 and I immediately ditched my Blackberry for it. That is when my old problem resurfaced. Now I had to resist the urge to surf the web, check the weather and stocks, and play music all the time. It only got worse with the advent of the App Store, games and Twitter. I was off the wagon big time and that was the case for some time.
By the summer of last year, I knew that my smartphone usage had become a problem but didn't know what to do about it. Fortunately, an opportunity came along to address my smartphone habit. This was the 9 day silent retreat at St. Benedict's Monastery in Snowmass, Colorado that I attended the first part of August 2012. The retreat guidelines suggested that attendees limit their use of technology while participating to better focus their attention and energies on developing their spirituality and prayer life. While this was offered as a "suggestion" it was "enforced" by the circumstances and location of the monastery high in Rocky Mountains. There was little to no cell signal most of the time and the only onsite internet connection was a single computer with dial up. After numerous vain attempts to locate a couple of bars of signal to check Twitter I gave up and put my iPhone in airplane mode. For the first couple of days I carried it in my pocket as a security blanket but then decided to just leave it on the desk in my room. I would occasionally take it with me on a hike for photos and music but for the most part I was off the grid and living life sans iPhone. I have to admit it was liberating.
For the rest of my time at the monastery I lived life without my smartphone and tether to the internet. I read more. I wrote more. I journaled prolifically. I prayed and meditated. I examined parts of my soul that had not been paid sufficient attention for some time. I believe this was possible because I was not distracted by my iPhone.
But then my time at St. Benedict's came to a close and as I rode back to Denver airport, I entered cell coverage and my connection to the internet was re-established. Twitter and my RSS feeds resumed their siren call. Emails began landing in my iPhone inbox. However, something was different and that something was me. Despite the arrival of notifications and alerts, my iPhone stayed in my pocket and after about 15 minutes of successive alerts disrupting my thoughts, I muted my phone. I decided that my smartphone could wait a while and that I would rather spend my time watching the scenic beauty of the Rocky Mountains than a glowing screen. My time at the monastery had provided me a sabbatical from technology and with newfound clarity I now had a different perspective on smartphones and their appropriate role in my life. This sabbath reminded me that technology is there to assist my life and not distract me from living it. My iPhone has a part to play in my life but it should not consume my life.
Maybe some people need to completely remove the temptation of the smartphone from their lives to avoid its deleterious effects. But maybe that approach is too easy. It is too easy because it allows us to avoid confronting the impulses that prompt us to overuse the technology that sits in our pockets. The daily struggle of making good choices that reflect our deepest values builds our character. By avoiding the use of smartphones altogether we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to grow and refine our character.
We might also be depriving ourselves of technology that allows us to be more efficient in our use of time and complete our work in a more timely fashion so that we have more time to focus on the people and relationships that matter to us. The same iPhone that has distracted me from spending time with my kids while I tried to finish another level of Angry Birds has also allowed me to capture an idea for an upcoming sermon before I had a chance to sit at my computer keyboard. Our smartphones are two-edged swords, capable of bringing benefit or woe. The power to use them for good or ill is literally in our hands. It is time to take responsibility for our choices and exercise restraint when necessary.
Since my return from the monastery this past summer, I have established what I call "technology sabbaths" where I put my iPhone down or leave it in my pocket as a way of creating healthy limits on its use. In this way I ensure that I own the phone instead of the other way around while still enjoying the myriad of benefits it brings to my life. Once our family is seated at the dinner table my iPhone is nowhere to be seen. It is on my nightstand or in my pocket but it does not make an appearance at the table. When our family gathers around the table for a meal it is a sacred time. The technology sabbath continues as we leave the table and move into the evening. Without the psychological encumbrance of my iPhone I am free to help my sons with their homework or play Legos with them.
Another place where I have declared a sabbath from my iPhone is when I am on a date with my wife. If we are out for dinner or a movie she should never see my iPhone - ever. It sits in my pocket with the ringer and alerts muted. The woman who loves me despite my faults and foibles and has given birth to our children deserves more than a distracted portion of my time. She deserves my full attention. If the sitter calls in the event of an emergency with the kids, I'll answer it. I'll know it is a sitter because I've set up custom vibrate patterns for them. That way I'm won't be constantly looking at my phone to make sure it is not an emergency and inadvertently see an email that might distract me.
Naturally, I extend this smartphone sabbath to my worship and prayer times. For those activities I prefer to operate in analog mode. While I am aware of apps and digital resources that could enhance my effectiveness as a worship leader or help develop my spiritual life I am reticent to use them at this point. God deserves my undivided attention. When I am worshiping or praying I have other, far more important matters on my heart than the proper place of technology in my life.
What I am trying to say in all this is that our smartphones represent both opportunity and challenge. With the establishment of appropriate boundaries through the adoption of "technology sabbaths" we can have the best of both worlds. It is possible to discipline ourselves and adopt the principle of moderation. Life is not a choice between being plugged into the Matrix or becoming a Luddite. Insisting otherwise creates a false choice and denies us the opportunity to grow.
Reader Comments (3)
well the other piece is smartphone plans are downright expensive, go back to the basics and get a plan for 20$ a month
This is very much a work in progress whenever I find out about one who is more beautiful than any of these I will add her and kick out number ten Thanks for sharing the informative post.
Regards
Smartphones are very useful these days for working people in many ways. It is up to us how we are using the Smartphone/iPhone and how we are getting the benefits of that use. Distraction towards Social media or any other webpages/website platforms for communication and entertainment not because of we are using Smartphone but its all about what sort mindset we have while using that.